When I first saw the prompt of our latest DB, I basically stared at the computer screen with a blank expression on my face. We're required to sum up ALL OF FIRST SEMESTER AND PART OF THIS ONE? That's one hefty charge in my opinion. Where do I even start? How can I express all the changes I've seen- both in myself and my classmates? To help get a grasp on the months we've spent exploring diversity, I went back and read past DB's. I easily recalled the topic of each one but as I read, I saw patterns of thought emerge and shift. As I continued, I tried adding in a bit of supplementary material in the form of my journal (I record 2 pages everyday, regardless of how mind-numbingly dull the day might have been) to see the full scope of the shift. I hate to sound egotistical but holy cow have I been changed after only a semester of college under my belt!
To start the trip down memory lane, I'd like to draw out the connection we made with sympathy, empathy, and connection to all life around us. It started out very mild with articles about mustangs and longhorns. Then we moved into human suffering via topics like suicide, the stress of perfectionism, and humankind's growing inability to relate to one another. It slowly allowed us to merge into the idea that "cruelty is often more disturbing than killing." (anthology 2 pg.366) And that that cruelty can be extended to all life- not simply us humans. If I was ever told that I would be crying in class in college, I would have laughed at their absurdity. What could possibly be so moving in a world literature class at a school like University of Texas? And then we watched Earthlings.
I think that was the true tipping point in my understanding of the world around me. Before, I might've agreed that animal cruelty is wrong and should be stopped but those would have been more like empty words fueled by the understanding that social protocol expects us to speak such things. And even while I would believe the words I said, they would have no conviction behind them. But as we spent two class periods watching the graphic abuse of animals the world over, I couldn't help but break down. Yes, there's something to be said for shock value and that it will fade with time but for a good few weeks, I could hardly think on the footage without physically cringing. And part of that, I know, is because of my own personal connection with Earthlings.
If you've read any of my earlier posts, you've most likely stumbled upon a reference to Rosie. She was my pet, companion, fellow explorer, and best friend. She also passed away not even a year ago. And while her sudden and unexpected death might have saved us the pain of seeing her suffer, I was completely unprepared to bury her in the very front yard we had gamboled in for years. I think back on the reading selection of short stories from various dogs points of view and the understanding that "I was made to experience this world; It was created for me- I was meant to move across it. Not forever and ever, but for a few years; A few good sweet years; I will not be denied this life." (anthology 2 pg.420) This reading coupled with Earthlings led to many a night curled up in my bed, trying to stifle the tears so my roommate wouldn't have to hear. I know I sound over-dramatic but it's completely true. From that point n, I took our discussion on empathy more seriously. It was no longer a generalized characteristic that you said "gee, wouldn't it be nice if we all acted on our empathy?" It became a serious goal to show compassion to people and animals around me. It was putting practice behind the words which became so important.
While this quote is not my words, I identify fully with it. We all start as children with certain impulses, most of which are to act kindly towards others. And slowly we become socialized into the modern world and lose some of that childish love of the world's inhabitants. From there, it becomes our decision on whether or not we chose to revert to the natural state- that of helping our neighbors- or to allow that something within us to die. That became my personal focus for the second half of first semester.
This second semester has moved more away from relations between animals and people to the interactions of different cultures of people. While one might think this would be more in the vein of an analytical world literature class where you read old manuscripts and argue over minutiae in the wording, nothing could be further from the truth. We simply moved from the general diversity of life into the specifics of diversity found within all humankind (yet with threads of commonality tying it all together).
And animals did not completely leave our consciousness. References abound within the Bible, Quran, and other religious texts. While most of the references create parables for humankind to follow, they still hint at a sense of peace within all the variety of life on this tiny planet we call home. As the Biblical readings of our anthology state, "The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them." (current anthology 61) While the harsh reality of life doesn't seem to permit such a scene, the fact that it holds such a strong sway over the human consciousness surely speaks of our desire to find a better means of life in this world.
 |
| This is me, the week before school started and I had hardly moved in. The expression is pretty close to how I was feeling about having to figure out this whole "college thing." |
I think that was the true tipping point in my understanding of the world around me. Before, I might've agreed that animal cruelty is wrong and should be stopped but those would have been more like empty words fueled by the understanding that social protocol expects us to speak such things. And even while I would believe the words I said, they would have no conviction behind them. But as we spent two class periods watching the graphic abuse of animals the world over, I couldn't help but break down. Yes, there's something to be said for shock value and that it will fade with time but for a good few weeks, I could hardly think on the footage without physically cringing. And part of that, I know, is because of my own personal connection with Earthlings.
 |
| This is one of my current dogs, Lexi. While she's the same breed Rosie was, her personality is completely different. I'd have to categorize her as Rosie's little sister in terms of temperament. |
And these slowly implemented actions helped me see the truth in that "I think empathy is essentially innate, but I also think empathy can be learned, and I know it can be destroyed." (anthology 2 pg.500)
While this quote is not my words, I identify fully with it. We all start as children with certain impulses, most of which are to act kindly towards others. And slowly we become socialized into the modern world and lose some of that childish love of the world's inhabitants. From there, it becomes our decision on whether or not we chose to revert to the natural state- that of helping our neighbors- or to allow that something within us to die. That became my personal focus for the second half of first semester.
This second semester has moved more away from relations between animals and people to the interactions of different cultures of people. While one might think this would be more in the vein of an analytical world literature class where you read old manuscripts and argue over minutiae in the wording, nothing could be further from the truth. We simply moved from the general diversity of life into the specifics of diversity found within all humankind (yet with threads of commonality tying it all together).
 |
| This bible may not be intelligible to me because of language but it's meaning remains the same. http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&q=bible#/d80fyi |
But now I feel we are beginning to enter into a new era of discussion and thought. That of self-discovery and self-taught beliefs. I know we'll be testing our personality types soon with the Meyer-Briggs and examining what "makes us tick" in order to become better learners. Of course, this immediately brings up the point made in this semester's reading, that "data in our psychic program is often non-linear, nonhierarchical, archaic, alive, and teeming with paradox." (current anthology 83) We humans tend to be such strange, confusing creatures. We'll say one thing, do another, and yet find a way to rationalize the in between. But while we can never uncover all the complexities of human nature, we can certainly try to structure our life in a way that best utilizes our paradoxes. I think that may be the best way to keep the mystery in life and yet be stronger because of our knowledge. As Siddhartha so eloquently put it, "'your soul is the whole world', was written there, and it was written that man in his sleep, in his deep sleep, would meet with his innermost part and would reside in the Atman." (Siddhartha 8) There's that something lying beneath our consciousness that Freud with his ego and id couldn't discover. Nor could Jung and his universal archetype theory. Nor modern science with out MRIs and PET scans. And while I'm a huge proponent of the hard sciences, I'm ok with leaving some of the mystery.
 |
| I couldn't help but make a little tie-in to one of my favorite series of all time. http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&q=myers-briggs#/d2uisf8 |
So in conclusion, I am unable to conclude this massive metamorphosis experienced through the past seven months. I went from anxious freshman to comfortable student on the UT campus. I expanded beyond myself to discover spirit animals, sympathetic imagination, and a deeper connection with all of nature. At the beginning of the year, I would study in my room, locked away from the world. But as this year has progressed, I've started to sit by the turtle pond or visit zilker with my textbook. I do feel rather like the ferryman of Siddhartha in that “the river has taught me to listen, from it you will learn it as well.” (Siddhartha 90) Mine may actually be just a pond or sometimes a field of grass but the basic principle remains. I'm moving outside of myself and my little dorm room and my little pre-concieved notions to seeing everything at a global scale. I guess that's where the world of world literature comes in. But on a final ending remark, I'd like to agree with Siddhartha's side of his discussion with Govinda (from the end of the book). “It [wisdom] can be found, it can be lived, it is possible to be carried by it, miracles can be preformed with it, but it cannot be expressed in words and taught.” (Siddhartha 120) This class hasn't diversified my outlook on life simply because of our reading or essay prompts. It's because so much of what we do is experiencing something for ourselves and coming to our own discoveries. We weren't told our spirit animals, we discovered them. We all read the same pieces of literature yet everyone's interpretations are slightly different and we grow because we get to see all those aspects. While I'm excited to become a sophomore student and move on to more classes specific to my area of study, I dread the thought of not coming to Parlin and meditating before carrying on a lively discussion about the meaning of original sin or what it means to be good. So thank you, my dear classmates, and thank you Professor Red Hawk/Bump- for making me grow, change, and experience a whole new world.
(PS- Thanks Elephant for the Disney inspiration!)
No comments:
Post a Comment