Loss

I had a great little blog post all planned out.  I've recently finished this fantastic little book called Proust was a Neuroscientist.  One of the chapters talked about Virginia Woolf.  I've honestly only read a single story by her in high school so I don't remember much.  What I wanted to cover was a discussion about her search for the mind and how all these disparate elements can make up a single person.

A great read.

All of her novels seem to focus on this idea.  And to end my post, I was going to tell how her depression became so crippling that she filled her coat pockets with rocks and walked into the river to drown.  I thought it would make for an interesting little story and then I'd move on to a new topic.  I didn't think I would suddenly be hit by a tragedy of my own.

I lost a very dear friend last week.  It took several calls from various people before I could actually believe he was gone.  He was always my closest nerd friend and my gut reaction was to believe he was actually in a parallel dimension (something akin to fringe which he introduced my family to).  Tragedies are supposed to happen to people who you don't know.  It's supposed to happen to someone else.  Maybe on the news you hear of a death and you think, that's so sad.  But it's never, ever supposed to effect you.

Well I've cried till my eyes are beyond red and puffy.  And I've felt like my chest is going to collapse.  The aftermath has sent me seeking solace in others who knew him.  And we all knew him in a different way.  In each person I discover a new aspect of his personality.  Something that didn't shine as brightly when he was with me but was there all the same.

To some, he was a loving older brother.  Others saw him as a shy, yet smart student.  Others knew him as a hard worker at salt lick or an intense gamer who would pull all-nighters on w.o.w. (world of warcraft) or something of the sort.

I never thought...

To me, he was a constant presence in my life.  A rock I could always call on.  Whenever I saw a reference to star trek, he was the first one I'd text.  If I ever wanted to go see a really goofy action movie, we immediately started planning a date.  Without him, I would never have gotten into Doctor Who or Fringe.  I wouldn't have always had someone who would hang out on a wednesday night- just because we could.

I miss him so incredibly much.  The bad parts of life are supposed to happen to other people.  They're supposed to be stories of people like Virginia Woolf.  But I guess life happens to us all the same.  We suffer and grow and never forget those we lost.  He will never, ever leave my heart.

Sometimes I'm Spock

Psychologists and neuroscientists alike are always trying to come up with theories to explain how we experience the world.  And one of our key components is emotion.  Perhaps you're a fan of the Cannon-Bard theory.  It's the typical idea that "I see a bear, process it as a threat, and then my heart rate begins to pick up."

The Dripping Springs Color Guard my senior year of
high school.  What a fantastic family!

I like to think of the time when I first heard that my high school band won State Championships.  I was standing with my fellow drum majors and color guard lieutenant when they finally gave the score and the big trophy to Dripping Springs Tiger Band.  My brain went something like, we won.  We Won. WE WON! And eventually I felt myself begin to bounce on the balls of my feet with glee.  As my brain bathed in dopamine, I jumped and screamed with my bandmates as they stormed the field in jubilation.

But to be honest, the Cannon-Bard theory doesn't really do it for me.  Maybe I'm part vulcan as my family seems to believe.  (I did have very pointy ears as a child....)  But most of my emotion comes after the fact.

Let's take the generic instance (which could apply to many people) of my interactions with a boy.  We hang out, become close friends, and then I start to notice something.  Every time I'm near this boy, I feel a flush in my cheeks.  My heart, just barely noticeable, begins to pump a bit faster.  I started to notice I would cross my legs the same way as him and lean in whenever we were seated across the table.

Taken altogether, I could see that I liked him.  But it took my own physiological reactions to realize it.  I had to physically feel before my emotions would catch up.  This embodies the James-Lange theory.  In other words, we perceive a stimulus, our body starts to physically react, and then our mind interprets those changes as specific emotions.  I tend to see this almost as a Spock hypothesis.  We have to interpret our own emotions to really see what's going on.  Just like the fictional character from Star Trek, I can't always decipher others' reactions, more or less my own.  I wonder if I bleed green? (*Vulcans have copper-based blood so they bleed green)

Live Long and Prosper

But back to the real science.  Current research says the truth is somewhere between these two theories.  It's a mixture, depending on the situation, types of emotions evoked, and other things.  But until I learn anything definitive, I'm sticking with the belief that I'm a relative of Spock.

The Savory Power of Suggestion

First- a general note.  This semester has officially come to a close.  As relieved as I am, I'm also a bit sad.  I'll really, truly miss my neural systems class.  It was also my primary source of topics for this blog.  However, I plan to seek out other sources and keep up the writing.

Enter today's topic- taste.  For as specific as science becomes on the molecular basis of taste and smell, it will never be able to captivate the truth of what we experience in a good meal.  Because the human mind isn't only just experiencing the food, it's taking in information from far flung sources like memory, vision, and even mood.

I'd like to set the scene with a personal anecdote.  Every year at thanksgiving, we have certain dishes that must be served, without fail.  My brother is quite traditional when it comes to family holidays and after 17 years of thanksgivings, if there isn't the usual version of stuffing on the table he gets upset.

Here's a picture of the dish from last thanksgiving.

So my traditional addition to the feast is a sweet potato casserole with marshmallows melted on top.  I make it every year, without fail.  And to me, it's the best dish on the table.  It's warm and sweet with hints of cinnamon and nutmeg.  I always go for seconds.  But this past winter, a group of my friends decided to have a potluck to celebrate the oncoming winter holidays.  I thought I'd share my traditional dish and made the sweet potato casserole.  But, for some reason it just didn't taste as rich.  It didn't seem to have the same mouth feel or aroma though I followed the recipe to a letter.

My hypothesis for the lackluster experience?  Context.  My dish was meant for family gatherings and feasting and home.  Taken out of context, I didn't have the same assumptions to enrich my experience.  Don't believe me?  Check out this study.

Frederic Brochet, from the University of Bordeaux, decided to pull a rather ingenious prank/test on 57 wine tasters.  He placed two glasses of wine in front of each expert- one red and one white.  He asked them to describe each drink which they did with the usual vocabulary used to describe each type.  Little did they know, the two glasses contained the exact same beverage.  It was just that one had added red dye.  Yet none of the experts called out the deceit.  No one seemed to notice.

As if that weren't embarrassing enough, he pulled a rather similar stunt but this time used the same drink but had it presented in two different bottles.  One with a cheap label and one naming it as an expensive aged wine.  Once again, the experts were taken in.  They described exactly what you'd expect from a cheap or classy wine.

My brother and I have a yearly tradition of hosting "Christmas
Cafe" where we cook a special dinner for my parents christmas eve.
We've gotten quite elaborate with the set-up over the years.

And all of this is due to the interlaced neurons in our brain.  We have many associations with food and drink, and it's certainly not all about flavor or smell.  So next time you want to make a special occasion, you don't have to spend big bucks on a gourmet pizza.  Just make sure you're eating in a special atmosphere with people you love.  Your taste buds wont disappoint.

Mad Hatter- Fact and Fiction

There's nothing like a rainy afternoon to get me perusing the instant play movies on netflix.  And as I am weak (and reeeeeally didn't want to write my philosophy paper just yet), I decided to watch Malice in Wonderland.  If you're looking for a dark twist on the classic Lewis Carroll novel, I highly suggest it!

Problem is, the rain didn't let up when I finished watching.  So I did a government assignment.... And then watched another adaptation from the SyFy channel called Alice.  Oops.  But all this movie watching did get me curious about one particular aspect- the Mad Hatter.

This classic Disney movie actually terrified me as a child.

Disney's cartoon classic depicts him as a lisping, over-energetic, madman who is so demanding at tea time that he eventually drives Alice away.  But if you look at the historical context of the Hatter, you'll find his madness does not fit at all.

The victorian reference to the mad hatter (though he was never called 'mad' in the original book) was explained by mercury poisoning.  Hatters, who made the felt top hats which were so popular during the era, used mercury on the felt for a glossy finish.  The long term exposure to mercury would soak into their hands and lungs and lead to neurological damage.


Specifically, mad hatter disease causes sensory hallucinations, slurred speech, anxiety, tremor and poor coordination, irritability, and depression.  But the strange thing is, virtually none of the reincarnations of the Mad Hatter hold any of these symptoms.  If anything, they make the Mad Hatter too manic and not timid enough.

Of course Lewis Carroll was no physician (he was a mathematics teacher at Oxford) so it's acceptable that he misrepresented the symptoms.  But I find it fascinating to find the fact behind the fiction.

Sorry, this song's been stuck in my head so... now it's stuck in yours!

Anybody in there?

To round out my year in Neural Systems, we concluded class with a discussion on consciousness.  It's the heart of our existence, yet something that can only be experienced individually.  Consciousness is a private experience.  Poets and scientists for decades have tried to express the world they see through their "inner theatre" but words and algorithms will never be enough.  Each experience is unique to the individual in terms of thought.

In terms of this subject, it's extremely difficult to conduct research.  How do we define the mind?  Is it the same as the brain? Or does the brain act as a conduit?  And where does all this leave free will?  The truth is, this realm is better expressed through the help of philosophers.

Descartes opens the dialogue with the view dualism.  That the mind (or moral spirit) is separate from the physical body.  His original view was designed to support the existence of God and was accepted as the dominant philosophical view until a Scottish philosopher by the name of Hume.  He posited the opposite- that the brain is both necessary and sufficient for consciousness.  His theory of physicalism or materialism has since dominated the field.  But modifications on both go far beyond their basic premises.  If you have the time to read some about these two legendary philosophers, I suggest you do so.  They are giants in philosophy and still relevant in neuroscience today.

Two more prominent figures who I'd like to direct my thanks at are the two professors who made my experience in Neural Systems so memorable.  Professor Mauk has been with us for the full year and brought a deep understanding of the chemical and voltage changes involved with the most basic unit of neuroscience- the action potential.  Not to mention, he really tried to bring our learning to something higher than usually experienced in undergrad classes.

I also want to thank Professor Drew.  HE was a recent addition to the staff at the beginning of this semester but made the course engaging and relevant.  I believe this was his first course taught at UT and I'd say it was a complete success!

So thanks so much to Neural Systems!  Both the staff and the fellow students made it an experience which will shape the rest of my career.

That necessary function- sleep

Call me a nerd if you must, but I'm so fascinated by sleep!  I'm beginning to think it will be the topic of my senior thesis and possibly future research (as I want to research and become a professor).  There are just SO many pieces to sleep that we have the tiniest understanding of.  For example, some animals including rodents will die if they aren't allowed to sleep.  Their bodies freak out and start to just shut down.  While there's no evidence that humans will die from lack of sleep, severe cognitive impairments and hallucinations start to appear not too long into sleep deprivation.  And do you know why?

Most of the time we only have this simple understanding
of sleep.

Well.... neither do I actually.  Or scientists if truth be told.  There's no elimination of a toxin that only happens at night.  No replenishment of some hormone for cognitive function.  We just start to fall apart.

Here's another mystery for consideration- night terrors.  These tend to happen in young children.  During non-REM sleep, sufferers start screaming often in a bloodcurdling manner.  Parents have trouble waking up their terrified children and when they do, the sufferers often can't explain what put them in such a terrified state.  It's not believed to be caused by dreams which typically happen during REM sleep.  And the next morning shows no ill-effects from the night's misadventure.

But our biological understanding of this disorder is practically non-existent.
~We don't know why they occur or how.
~They aren't a symptom for any future psychosis or other mental illnesses, but why haven't they been genetically selected against?
~They can occur in adults but are much more prevalent in children.  Why?

And I suppose you could say I have a vested interest in the topic of night terrors.  Around age 4, I began to get them with extreme frequency.  And I'm talking about multiple episodes a night.  This continued, even after medication, for the next several years.  Though the frequency subsided, I still will occasionally have night terrors.  I'm sure it drives my roommate crazy, but if I'm over stressed or have been overstimulated throughout the course of the day, I'm much more likely to have them.

And this one disease is only a tiny facet of the research that still needs to be done in the field of sleep.  I can't wait to see where the research progresses!

What it means to be a Schizo

I find it interesting that while pop culture usually gets the gist of diseases like bi-polar or ADHD, schizophrenia is sorely misunderstood.  I'll admit, I feel into the category of believing a schizophrenic is someone who has multiple personalities.  The essential core of the traditional idea of a "crazy person."  But the true diagnosis of the disease is absolutely nothing like that.  And I find my compassion for sufferers of it has grown exponentially since truly understanding its nature.

This is how most people view schizophrenia, though
technically they are referring to multiple personality
disorder.

Schizophrenia does mean "split mind" but not in terms of personality.  Rather, it refers to the disorganized thought patterns which its victims suffer.  The symptoms of schizophrenia can be essentially split into three camps: postitive, negative, and cognitive.

I should give fair warning that positive does not mean sufferers get some sort of benefit from the illness.  Positive means that on top of regular behavior, patients have these symptoms added on top of normal functioning.  Disordered thinking, delusions (often about either God, the devil, or the president), hallucinations (often auditory), paranoia, and repetitive behaviors fall into this "positive" category.

The extrasensory nature of them makes them positive, whereas negative symptoms take away from normal functioning.  Some of these symptoms could be seen in other types of mental illnesses.  Lack of emotion (emotional flatness), social withdrawal, lack of self-care, lack of goal-oriented behavior, and catatonia (absence of behavior) all fit into the category of negative symptoms.

Lastly, there are cognitive impairments.  Schizophrenics have trouble focusing their attention, using their working memory, reversal learning tasks, initiating goal-oriented behavior, and often take others literally.  Sometimes, if a schizophrenic patient is asked, "think of a sentence and then write it."  They will write on the paper, "it."

With so many different categories of symptoms, treatment of schizophrenia has been extremely difficult.  The possibility of multiple varieties, each with a unique neural basis, has been posited and further research is required.