The Eye of the Beholder (cue Twilight Zone music!)

I seem to remember The Bluest Eye being on a reading list somewhere in my history of schooling but I don't recall when or where.  I never really gave the book much thought besides curiosity at the strange title.  After completing the book last night (I ended up staying up past my self-appointed bed time just to finish the last chapter), I realized ho relevant it still is to our world today.

The first and most obvious theme presented is that of beauty.  And what an abstract yet potent idea that is.  I never really cared for my appearance as a child so it was disturbing to hear Claudia say"I had only one desire: to dismember it.  To see of what it was made, to discover the dearness, to find the beauty, the desirability that had escaped me, but apparently only me." (20)  How could such a doll pull so much hatred from this little girl?  But at the same time, I can relate to her confusion over what makes someone or something truly beautiful.

As I said before, as a kid I wasn't much concerned with appearance.  In fact, throughout middle school I purposely wore clothes that didn't necessarily match or were deemed "uncool."  It was in part because I despised the popular kids who wore expensive clothing and partially because it made more sense to wear things I didn't mind getting dirty.  I've always been an adventurous person and coming home with ruined shirts was a regular occurrence for me.  But as I moved into late middle school and early high school, I began to observe the social dynamics and how much of an effect the exterior appearance had.  It was easy to pick out the popular kids who had the Hollister shirts, long straight blonde hair, and (for the girls) a very skinny build.  Even back then, I wasn't build like a twig.  I've always had broad shoulders and muscular thighs.  For the most part, I'm thankful for my body type because I know I have the strength to take care of myself.   But for a few years, I really hated my body.  I was just too big.  Lined up in class photos, I'd look chubby compared with the wisp of a girl I was standing next to- even if I was mostly muscle.  I don't think it was until junior year in high school that I finally got over the fact that I would never have a slight build.

None of the girls in middle school were this skinny but I have to wonder- if thin is our idea of beauty, are we moving closer to something like this being considered the standard?
http://forum.gaijinpot.com/showthread.php?69615-Miss-Universe-Oz-controversy

And by now, I've really become pretty much satisfied with the way I am.  I relate much more to Claudia than Pecola because I'm more interested in what my body can do for me physically, not the attention it can bring.  "We felt comfortable in our skins, enjoyed the news that our senses released to us, admired our dirt, cultivated our scars, and could not comprehend this unworthiness." (74)  We're made to enjoy the world and our senses are the core means that allow us to do so.  I'm not just talking about sight or sound but also the tactile experiences.  There's nothing quite like feeling the power of your legs as you spring across the soccer field or the steady rhythm of your arms as you swim through the water.  The sensation of doing has become what I find beautiful.  You don't have to have a pretty face to be good at basketball but making a perfect slam dunk or 3-pointer is every bit as gorgeous.

Images can't quite do it justice but there really is something graceful about a clean, point scoring kick.
Picture by me.

It's taken me a long time to learn (and I don't think I'm done yet), but I think beauty is something you show by doing something you love.  For me, it's taekwondo and seeing a match play perfectly into your hands as you read the opponent and score the match-winning point.  There's a kind of fluid grace and tempo in throwing kicks and dodging your opponent's that to me, is beautiful.  But I also think there is beauty in a well-played piece of music or a caringly crafted building.  What I'm trying to say, is that we need to accept that beauty isn't skin deep or even related to the skin at all.  It's about expressing your passion to others and having them love you because if it.  I may have gone off on a tangent here but I guess my view of beauty isn't really physical at all.